Tuesday, October 21, 2014

when you'd rather run :: to mackenzie a year ago (day 16)

I've got one of those apps on my phone that brings up pictures from "1 year ago today." When I peruse through where I was this time last year, I want to go back and give myself a hug. (And a pep talk and a big bar of chocolate.) In my picture from one year ago today, I was very sick and in my 1st trimester with Rainier. I had one arm on my growing belly, and the other was holding a cranky almost 2-year-old Nicholas. I had a smile on my face, but I remember what my heart was feeling: discontent, fearful, and really trying to hope.

I was definitely not in the mind frame of "Let's settle in! This is the place I want to hunker down!"
The opposite really - I desperately wanted things to change. We'd just moved from Montana, I was so sick from pregnancy, Brian's job situation was up in the air, and I knew we'd be hopping in between our (very gracious and generous) parent's homes for the next several months. Most of my prayers were, "God, GET ME OUT OF HERE." I wanted life to move on, but it wasn't budging. Little did I know it would take over a year for us to physically move to downtown Seattle, where we wanted to be in the first place. And all the emotional/mental/relational growth that I wanted immediately - that took time, too. It felt like my feet were stuck in the mud. I could see where I wanted to be, but I just couldn't get there. And I certainly did not want to say "yes" to God - I just wanted what was next.

Today I want to speak to that Mackenzie, and to anyone else who is waiting for something and who just wants to move on:

When you'd rather run, HUNKER DOWN.
Not into the promise of "tomorrow," not into your circumstances today.
Settle down, right into the God who is with you wherever you go.
You have a constant. And as nice as it would be for your home/job/ministry/health to feel stable - here's a chance to find your home in the one place that will never change. 
He is it. You can look everywhere else you want, but you're only going to find home, unchanging, new life, in one place -- Christ.

If you'd rather run than be where you are - that's an okay thing to feel.
But then, run to Him. To His Word, to His Gospel, to the people He's put in your life.
Watch and see. Watch what the great Redeemer can do with a heart that feels so deeply uncertain.
He is trustworthy, and He is with you wherever you go.

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To read each post in this 31 Day series, Settling Down and Looking Up, click HERE or find me on my Instagram and search the hashtag, #SettlingDownLookingUp. 

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