Friday, October 31, 2014
the "yes" is for our good, the "yes" is worth it :: the final post in this series (day 23)
Well, today this journey is officially over. I'm still on day 23 and technically the whole idea is to write for 31 days...but I'd say for having two small kids and being involved in two different ministries and enjoying brushing my hair everyday, I did pretty good! :)
Oh I'm so cheesy, but though this #write31days series ends today, I know that this idea the Lord has placed in my heart to look to Him as I settle into this season, and say YES to Him - it's just beginning.
And at the end of this whole thing, I feel like my heart has been brought right back to where I was on day one: my utter, real, desperate need for Jesus. To do anything good.
I cannot say yes to anything the Lord asks me to do. Not without Him.
I am actually NO BETTER than I was the beginning of October.
I might have searched my heart and God's Word more than I had before, but myself? I still try to find ways to get around really having to say yes to Jesus. I'm still feeling like I'm standing on the edge and feeling too scared to just jump.
I'm not 100% "settled down."
But this month I have also seen God be really good.
Even though I'm a scared, tiny woman, in those moments that I quietly nodded my head and whispered, "Okay, Jesus" - He was there. He was faithful.
He gave me more and revealed Himself more than I ever though He would when I uttered that feeble word.
At the end of this month, I know that He is with me when I say yes. (I mean, He's with me when I say no too, but what I mean is that He is ever present and doesn't leave me hanging when I step out to obey Him.)
I also know, just a little more than I did before, that saying yes to Him is totally for my good, and for the good of other's too. When I said yes to Him in regards to my family, I was so darn blessed. And so were they. I said yes on some new ministry opportunities, and it has brought me life and dreams that I am so excited about.
He is good. He asks. We, very scared and feebly, say yes. He stays the same, good and faithful as always. He continues to be present, we mess up and sometimes say no and sometimes say yes. And still, He's faithful, present, and good. Saying yes is worth it.