Thursday, October 23, 2014

Sometimes i really suck at saying yes. His grace is enough. (day 18)

Today I have this thing in my chest, this burden to make sure that I'm being very real and honest in what I put out there on the internet.

I'm NOT an expert at "saying yes to where God has me."
Not even one little bit.

Even though I'm writing about this topic for 31 days, I have caught myself in many moments during this month doing the exact opposite. Asking God to just move me on already, to fast forward so that I've already said yes to the hard stuff and can be on the other side of it. I've been tempted, and given in, to distracting myself with tasks and dreaming of a life that feels more glamorous or rewarding than accepting the grace, joy, and honored privilege of what God has given me today.

Yes, I do have the moments I've described in these past 23 days when I see the beautiful challenge and worth of saying yes to Him; He is teaching me and in some moments, I listen.
But I've also thrown tantrums, been very impatient, and in some moments just totally ignored God's tugs on my heart.

Friends. Self.
His grace is enough.

When you're a total mess, His grace is enough.
When you write a 31 Days post about settling down into your family, and two hours later you're texting angry words to your husband about the kids awful behavior, when really your own behavior has been total crap - there's enough grace for you. (Ahem. For me.)

When the things God is asking you to say "yes" to seem way too big (or too small) - His grace is enough.

Even if you say no. His grace is enough for that, too.
(My stomach feels kinda queasy since I just wrote that last line. Because I'm a total rule follower. Am I giving you license to disobey God by saying that? Well, I hope not. But it's still true - even when I disobey God - there's enough grace for that. I'm still under the great news of the Gospel.)

I want to move forward with the Lord, I want to REJOICE in saying "yes" to His calling. Holy moly, He is such a good Father who wants the best for His children! 
The things He asks of us are for our good (even if they are hard). And on the days when His calling feels really heavy, or when I just want my way because that's more convenient - He has grace for me.
And it's also His grace that brings me back to Him. It's His heart that loves me like a really good Dad that enables me to sit at His feet without an ounce of shame, and receive courage and strength to continue on saying yes. His grace is enough. His grace is what helps us say "yes," even if just a moment ago we said "no."

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To read each post in this 31 Day series, Settling Down and Looking Up, click HERE or find me on my Instagram and search the hashtag, #SettlingDownLookingUp. 

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