I want to lean in to hope.
I want to lean in to God's strength and not my own.
I want to lean in to this season, and owning it.
I want to lean in to the Gospel.
I want to lean in to grace.
When 2014 was a few days ahead of me, I asked the Lord what He might have for me this year. I looked at all that lay in front of me (settling into a new apartment, taking care of my sweet Nicholas, waiting to meet our second boy, a new season of ministry for both Brian and I), and I was already stressed. I know that God has called us here, and I know that He will enable us to do what He's asked us to - but that doesn't mean that I feel able.
I'm also really excited about what's coming. I'm tired after a season that hasn't been all that easy, but I'm expecting God to move. I see what He's placed in front of us and I want to be a part of it. Even if I have barely a clue as to where my part in it all is.
I'll be honest that the praying I did about this year was not during hour long Bible studies - it was while I was folding laundry and sorting our belongings and trying not to fall asleep. But God saw a heart that wanted to listen even just a little, and He spoke. He's good like that.
Each time I prayed, what I heard Him say was, "lean in."
I can't do any of the things I wrote about above if I don't lean into Jesus. If He isn't my source, if I can't embrace this season of really just needing Him, I will flounder. If the Gospel isn't where my hope lies and if I try to do this on my own, I won't make it.
I'm going to lean in. So that I can obey Him; so that I can enjoy Him; so that I can love my family and the people He puts in my path.
I don't have resolutions for this year, I don't have a lot of plans - but even today I'm leaning into Him.