Wednesday, June 26, 2013

home, our hearts, and an upcoming change

For most of our marriage, Brian and I have lived away from "home". Five weeks after our wedding, we moved away from Washington, and from our families. We lived in Hawaii for six months then moved to Montana, still missing our families and our life at home. We didn't know how long we'd be in Montana, and we didn't expect to become attached to a place eight hours away from families.

A little over four years later, and Montana is now our home. We had our first child here, we have deep relationships with friends, and the beauty surrounding us is breathtaking. We still miss our families, every day. But this place, one we've really been able to make "home" together, has our hearts now, too. When you move somewhere when you are 21, you kind of grow up there. When you fumble through your newlywed years, make mistakes and learn a lot in ministry, and start a family somewhere, it has a special place in your heart. We now live with our hearts located in two places at once. (I bet many of you know what that's like!)
About a year and a half ago, the Lord began reminding us of the part of our hearts that still lives in Washington. He began to point our prayers, our minds, and now our feet, toward our first "home." And though we tried to say "Hey, we really like it here in Montana! We're not ready to leave yet!", we've learned that God's way is truly the best way.

So in August, we are moving back to our first "home." Alongside of some amazing friends of ours,
Brian and I will be planting a church in Seattle. Typing those words out is so surreal. Wowza.
There are lots more logistical things that go along with that, and I'll share some of those along the way. But for now I'll tell you that we see God already doing SO much in Seattle, and we want to join Him. We want to love the people He's placed there, and use the gifts that He's given us to bless them. We have a home church and friends/family supporting us, and we are humbly (and somewhat terrified-ly) walking towards this crazy dream. I feel so unqualified, but I know that God uses the feeble.

I love Seattle and our family there, and I know God will grow my heart even more.
But I can't believe we are shortly saying goodbye to our Montana home. Not just to the teeny house that we love, but to the cherished, faithful friends we have here. To the season of life here that has been so sweet. And to the ministry we work with that has invested SO. MUCH. into our young lives.

Tears are filling my eyes as I write these words. My heart is definitely in two places right now. But I'm trusting that just as God made Montana "home", He'll make Seattle home for us in a new way.

And excuse me if most of my upcoming Instagrams and Tweets have to do with tearful goodbyes and pictures of packed boxes :) You have been warned.


  1. CONGRATS!!!! What an exciting time for you family. I know some sweet, sweet Christians in Seattle if you ever need some company! Good luck!!

  2. Oh my goodness!! That's so exciting Mackenzie!! I'm sure it's quite terrifying and sad to leave the place you've called home for so long, but the Lord has great plans for those He loves. And remember that "He doesn't call the equipped, but He equips the called."

  3. Oh, I'll be thinking about you guys during this process! I'm sure it's hard and beautiful at the same time, but I'm sure God has something great for you guys where you are going! Excited to hear about your journey back home :)

  4. Oh wow! I feel like I should say congratulations on stepping out, on following God's call. But I know the struggle. Except for us...we lived at "home" for our first year before being called to our new home as part of a church planting team. Already, idk if I could ever go back. And yet, I know that God will guide our hearts and lives and where ever He calls next, we will go. Seattle is beautiful, as you know. Being where God calls though, is the most beautiful and fulfilling place to be. I'll be praying for you guys and am excited to watch your journey!

  5. That is really exciting and terrifying all at once. My husband has been a youth pastor for the last 6 years. He is finishing the ordination process this summer and will then transition to an associate pastor role that is yet to be defined but is being discussed. We're in a "safe," stable denominational church now, but I look at his gifts and it's my secret nightmare that he will feel called to plant a church someday! I can definitely begin to understand why you are walking terrify-edly (love that phrase) towards this! BUT how exciting. My husband is from Seattle and that is a city that NEEDS good churches led by people who extend authentic, Christlike grace and love towards their community and seek to partner with it to meet its needs. I've only been reading your blog for a few months (I've read some of the archives too.) I feel like your heart is so loving and authentic and I can only imagine that your husband's is too. It's fun to read more of what has been going on behind the scenes...we can never write everything on a blog at the time it's occurring, and I appreciate you letting us in on your heart and your family's story.

    The thing I keep learning and re-learning about God, seemingly in each stage of my life (in college when I was in recovery from some things, while working in some rough Title I schools for 3 years trying to show my students love, and now as a mom) is that he wants us to ask Him each day for our "daily bread"...not the bread for the rest of the journey, but the bread for TODAY. He doesn't want us to project ahead and worry about whether the bread will be there or not next week or next month. We have enough history to know that it will be! He doesn't want us to worry about how WE will get the bread...because He will give it to us just like He always has. He wants us to trust Him with our futures and come to Him with our needs in our present. And I see you do this every day that you post here and that gives me confidence that this scary thing is what you are called to and that He will be with you every day.

    And...I'm excited to read whatever you end up posting about that journey :)

  6. Congratulations, Mackenzie! This is so awesome. Praying for you and your family!

  7. Moving is such an adventure! I am so excited for you guys. Praying that your transition goes smoothly. It is hard to say goodbye and still so exciting to move forward.


  8. So excited for you, girl. And can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do through your family's active obedience!

  9. Moving is so exciting but so emotional too. Lots of good thoughts and prayers coming your way as you start this new adventure!

  10. I cannot wait to see how God will move in your hearts as you guys move to Seattle. What an act of obedience... moving away from home, and now listening to His urges for you to move back!

  11. Gosh, this is such a great and hard place to be! We are moving in 2 weeks to Bangkok. We are so excited to be a part of what God is doing there, but it is so sad to leave behind all of these people we love so much! But, God will lead and provide for you as you seek to make his name known in Seattle! Exciting and sad...I know how it feels girl!

  12. So excited for you guys and this adventure. It is going to be so great to be close to family! :)


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