Wednesday, May 8, 2013

We Are More Than Our To-Do's {A Little Grace For the Mamas}

I'm going to say something that seems obvious, but that I have a really hard time actually living:

Mamas - we are not what we do. We are not what we've accomplished at the end of the day.

I happen to give myself a gold star every time I take a shower before 9am or fold my laundry the same day that I washed it. I accomplished something! Wooh! What else can I tackle?

I think it is a great idea to celebrate these little victories. You gotta take what you can get when shepherding little people. But I find myself feeling like I'm only as valuable as how many tasks I finished that day. I'm only doing a good job as a mom/wife/person when I can see what I've accomplished. And that is a skinny little tightrope to try walking on.

As a new mom, I couldn't wait for my husband to arrive home from work. I'd wait at the door with a tiny Nicholas, a list formed in my mind of all the tasks I'd done that day. I so badly wanted Brian to notice that I actually written a blog post and cleaned the kitchen. If he didn't immediately acknowledge my unspoken list, I felt crushed. Didn't he notice all of my hard work?! Yet Brian NEVER expected these things of me - they were all my own expectations of myself. He just likes me as I am, and he was just grateful that I took care of our son all day. (Maybe I should take a cue from him.)

I had put so much emphasis, and so much of my self-worth, in being able to count the good things I'd done. But the problem with that is that motherhood is hard to measure. Life, really, is hard to measure.

Moms - our accomplishments don't define us. What we are able to do/not do is too fleeting and flimsy to be what sustains us along this road of motherhood. It's just not enough, and it usually leaves me feeling discontent and self-obsessed.

Moms - what we actually "do" during the day is almost impossible to quantify. Our day-in, day-out consistencies of loving, serving, and teaching our kiddos may not always be exciting things to check off our list, but they are incredibly important. We are taking care of tiny hearts, and we have a huge part to play in who they are as adults. (Crazy, huh?) And every little act of service is a chance to obey and honor the Lord in this motherhood calling He's given us.

What truly defines us, moms? That God sees us and loves us. That before we even get out of bed to feed the baby, we are loved by Him. That before, during, and after our tasks, we are loved just because we're alive. We are defined by the value God places on our lives, which is a lot seeing as He laid down His life for us, mamas.

You are more than what you do

This post is part of a series. Click the photo below to read more about grace for moms! Life of a Pint-Sized Mama


  1. I dont have a little one, but this is definitely something that I struggle with to. Marcus always tells me that he doesn't care if there are dishes everywhere.. somehow its still hard to believe that he doesn't hold the same expectations over me that I do. Great post!

  2. Sweet encouragement for me today. Thank you!!

  3. I LOVED this post. As I sit here exhausted with dishes in the sink, clean laundry in the dryer, a finally sleeping baby (who only took tinnnnny cat naps all day,) and a husband at work--thanks so much for writing this :) On days when I say that I got nothing done all day, my husband always reminds me: "you kept our daughter alive. That's a pretty big accomplishment." As she gets older, I feel less and less of that "guilt" because she can show me how the time I spend on her is developing and growing her, but there are still days like today where I struggle with how "little" I got done and how insignificant those things feel compared to the things I accomplished when I was working full time. I really appreciate this validation. From one short mom to another (I'm 4'11)...thanks.

  4. Love this reminder and resonate with it a lot! I'm glad someone else doesn't fold the laundry right away either! ;)

  5. Oh, I needed this. Need it. My baby girl is just 3 months, and I really needed this grace. Thanks.


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