Friday, April 5, 2013

Too Messy to Dream

Between the ages of 20 and 25, my life has been a wonderful crazy. I left a great job and university to join a missions organization. I got married, lived in 3 different states, traveled to 8 different countries and have lived in 7 different homes. I've changed ministry roles, had a baby, and started a blog. (Did I mention that I hate change and don't do transition all that well?)

The last five years have held a lot. Amazing opportunities and many things to be grateful for, as well as really hard times. (As we all have.) Moments of sorrow, wondering if God is enough, and being certain that I just don't have what it takes.

In these difficult seasons, I tend to turn off the dreaming part of myself. I list the reasons why I'm no longer qualified to run after God's call on my life. I convince myself that the vision He once spoke must have just been in my head. Maybe those dreams were for the old, better version of myself - but they certainly aren't for this broken, emotional Mackenzie.

And then I look at the people around me who are living out the dreams God has given them.

The road behind them is messy. Their lives are littered with little mounds of heartache and imperfection. There are victories along the way and mature choices made, to be sure, but their fair share of obstacles, too. And these little hills that they've summited in the past serve as constant reminders that God will also help them climb the dream-sized mountains that loom ahead.

Dreaming isn't for the perfect. It's not for the all-stars or for the self-sufficient.

Dreaming is for the broken. For those who know their faults are plenty. For those who know they don't have what it takes - but that God totally does. Dreaming is for those who know that their shortcomings don't disqualify them, but instead reveal the constant faithfulness of God. Dreaming is for those who know they cannot do it on their own.

So, what if your story is messy? What if the past few months haven't been your finest? What if you've got some victories mixed in with moments of despair? My friend, you aren't disqualified. You are the perfect candidate to show that Jesus' strength is displayed in our weakness. Let's start dreaming.

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A Royal Daughter

You can also find me today at the Influence Network blog! Along with some amazing women, I shared a short testimony of my experience at the Influence Conference last year. If you are a messy, broken, God-loving woman, the Influence Network and  conference is for YOU!

Finally, you guys may know of my love for FashionABLE, an organization that creates sustainable business for women in Africa + makes beautiful, fashionable scarves. Today they have FREE SHIPPING on a limited edition scarf (that would be great for Mother's Day)! Check it out HERE.

Affiliate links included in this post.


  1. Wow...thanks for this post! My husband and I have a possible dream/mountain ahead that I know we may receive some criticism from others for, but we think God is calling us to do it. This was really encouraging as I've been worrying about how we'll do it.

  2. You have a beautiful heart!!! My story is a total mess, but it's filled with big dreams! Only something that can be done by a BIG God!!

  3. This post was so encouraging! Thank you so much for pursuing the Lord's heart and being faithful to Him! He is so amazing and you display His love so well!

  4. I loved this post. As a college student, I feel like I am at this crossroads in life of having dreams I want to pursue and feeling utterly unqualified to pursue them. "I'm too young, I'm too inexperienced, I won't know where to start" but gosh darn it, I don't have to. This post was so encouraging and uplifting as I get ready to face the "real world" and chase after some dreams.


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