Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'm Going To Miss The Tantrums

When Nicholas is grown and I look back on these days, there are many things I'm going to miss.

I'm going to miss the simple joy of hearing his first words - like when he called me "mom" a few days ago. (Not mama. Just mom.) I turned into a puddle right on the spot.

I'm going to miss his cheeks, and how they peek out of his hats like tiny apples.

Or how he points at everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

I'm going to miss how easy it is to make him giggle and the melty feeling in my heart when he shows all of his still-growing-in-teeth.

I will desperately miss the moments when he climbs into my lap with a book and lets me cuddle him as we read. In these moments I stroke his blonde hair and kiss his cheeks a million times. It won't be long before he's too big for my lap. (Literally.)

 
And when I think about it? I'll probably (somewhat sadistically) miss the hard parts too.

Like the throw-yourself-on-the-floor tantrums or feeling like the only word I ever say is "no."

I'll miss his dramatic pouty lip that he gives when he's in trouble, and how I have to hide my face to keep him from seeing my smile.
I'll miss these things because the fact that they have passed means that his little-ness has too. And I know that when Nicholas is grown, I'd take a tantrum in a second if it meant I could hold him in my lap again and feel his little head resting against my chest.

So in the mean time, I'm praying that I can listen to my future-self. I'm hoping that when I get overwhelmed or frustrated, I can be patient and just soak it all in. (Seems crazy, I know.) But all these moments, the exhausting ones and the exhilarating ones, are fleeting. And I want to cherish each one of them. (Insert prayers for patience here.)
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4 comments:

  1. I loved this post. I cried last night holding my baby.. thinking that one day he will be grown up. We are given such precious gifts as mamas. Here's to savoring every second of this journey!

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  2. My littlest, my baby, is turning three this week and I have been a puddle of emotions over his being a "big boy." thank you for the reminder to savor it all...the good and the bad. It goes by so quick...
    Erin
    www.bakesomebodyhappy.com

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  3. I was thinking about this the other day, when I was (*cough*) trying to PEE FOR JUST A MOMENT IN PEACE PLEASE! :) One day, I'll have all the time in the world to myself, and I will probably be ready to trade it all for just one more cuddle. It will good then, too, but it is GOOD right now. Love your post :) Have a blessed rest of your week!

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