When I reflect on this past year, I find myself thinking about how I spent my time. Some of the things that I spent my time on felt "worth" my time. (Like my decision to stay home with Nicholas, attend the Influence Conference, or host a weekly prayer meeting in our home.) I am glad I spend my time on these things, though at times they were stretching.
I am grateful that God has a lot of grace for me as I look ahead to 2013. The life-giving ways that I spent my time this last year - how can I continue to involve myself in these kinds of things? How can I live out the passions God has given me? On the other hand, how can I graciously, yet boldly say no to the things that aren't right for this season of my life? With no shame or fear of regret?
The joy of saying no to the wrong things is this - what if God has something else amazing for me? What if, by saying no to one thing, I am making room for an opportunity for God to use me? What if He wants to stretch me, bless me, and give me more than I could ever ask or imagine?
I'm reminded of a few years ago when I so badly wanted to attend a specific Bible school, which would have meant postponing trying to have a baby. This school would have been a GOOD thing for me to do, but I knew in my heart that my motivation for doing this school was wrong. So I withdrew my application. And I am so grateful that I did! Because very shortly after saying no, I found out that I was expecting Nicholas. God was making room in my life for an incredible blessing.
I don't want to lean on my own understanding. I don't want to say yes to things just because everyone else is doing them successfully. I don't want to cram my days full of things that I feel obligated to do. I want to fill my days with His ways - as a wife, a mom, a friend, an online writer, and a follower of Christ. Whether they are stretching, easy, humbling, or seemingly impossible. Saying yes to Him is what gets you through. Saying yes is what makes you look back and say, "that was so worth it."
I pray that next year in December I can look back on 2013 and say, "wow, it was all worth it."