Friday, November 9, 2012

The Very First Moment

I remember that very first moment that Nicholas was placed in my arms.

I take in the sight of his strawberry blonde hair, stroke his fresh baby skin, and breath in the scent of my brand new baby.

My son. My child.

His sweet helplessness makes me love him all the more. His absolute need for me instantly conjures up the desire to serve and protect him, in a fierce, yet loving way.

From that very first moment, he is accepted into our family. I am sobbing over my love for him, trying as much as I can to pour out my approval and happiness that he is in this world. That he is a part of my family. That I get the chance to love him and help him grow in this big, crazy world. He can never do anything to change his status as a crazy, lavishly, unconditionally beloved son of his father and I. He just is. Loved. Ours. Part of our family.

So often I find myself at the feet of my Father, begging for His approval. With tears in my eyes and an ache in my heart I ask Him - will you love me? Will you approve of me? Is the ugliness of my heart and the harshness of my words too much for you? Love me, please! I can't stand myself, but can you?

And He gently, lovingly reminds me.

just am His daughter. I am a family member. I am joyously accepted. He willingly laid down His life for me - not because He begrudgingly had to. But because my helplessness made Him love me all the more, as He fiercely and lovingly fought for me. As He continues to fight for me.

He loves us with an everlasting love.* The kind of love that does not make us earn His approval, but love that the Father lavishly pours out onto His children**. The kind of love that breathes in our scent, takes in the sight of our face, and sobs, "My daughter. My child," as He joyously pours out His approval over us.

*Jeremiah 31:3
**1 John 3:1

Life of a Pint-Sized Mama

This post is part of a series on grace called "Freedom Found Me." I call myself a recovering "earn-aholic", trying to enjoy God's grace instead of striving to earn it. Jesus offers freedom, through His grace - and we don't have to go searching for it. It's right out there in the open. In fact, His freedom found me. Click the picture above to see more of the series!


  1. So beautifully written and so, so true! Thanks mackenzie for reminding me of my Fathers love for me!!

  2. So SO true, thank you for such beautiful words Mackenzie!! =)
    Much Love!

  3. great true!

  4. Absolutely beautiful! This post brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for the reminder.

  5. this is beautiful. I feel like God has been trying to tell me this lately. You put words to it. Its always nice to have a good ol' God loves me cry in the morning so thanks for that ;) he he

  6. I love this post because I think we easily forget that we are children of God and as parents, we are getting the chance to raise more of his children. I cannot imagine what it will be like to hold your child in your arms for the first time and like you said, immediately love and accept him!

  7. This is such a beautifully written post. Brought tears to my eyes! So grateful for the love of our Father.

  8. beautiful post and oh my word could your son not look any more perfect!!! Those sweet cheeks and strawberry blond hair!!! I would have just fallen in love

  9. Feeling mother-love for my son is exactly how God brought me full circle: what He used to draw me back to Him. I am forever grateful!

  10. Love your insight, and the squishiness of your lil man!


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