Friday, September 14, 2012

What I've Lost, and Gained, As a Mama

To say that motherhood comes with mixed emotions is an understatement. There are highs, lows, and a lot of in betweens. And I'll tell ya right off the bat - the high points completely make the low ones worth it. But before Nicholas I had no clue that mommy-hood would bring such a mixture of losses and gain.

As I look back to where I was in September of last year, I was a few thing (besides ginormously pregnant): very involved in ministry, a good housekeeper, and super social. Brian and I went on dates all the time, and I got to sleep for more than 6 hours in a row. Fast forward to this September: I'm a lot less involved in ministry, my house is littered with baby toys, and Brian and I have gone on 4 dates since Nicholas was born. Let's not even start with sleep!

A few things happened this week that made me feel the sting of the "losses" in mommy-hood. I miss working and having a finished product to feel good about. I miss uninterrupted time with Brian. I SO miss sleep. I miss feeling like a good, available friend.

And then today, this happened:


My son, who is a delightful wiggle worm and never wants to be held, fell asleep on me today. I debated putting him in his crib - nap time usually means work time for me. But I felt like this little moment was a gift. And a reminder from the Lord - these are the WORTH IT moments. This is one of the "gains." Don't miss this.

So we sat. For a sweet 30-ish minutes. I laid my head on his fuzzy hair, took in his Ritz cracker and banana scent, and silently prayed. I thanked the Lord for this moment. I tearfully thanked Him for this precious boy, and the fact that I get to be his mama. I know now that mommy-hood comes with some losses, but the gains are indescribably precious. And I don't want to miss a single one.
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7 comments:

  1. Hi there! I'm Liz, I was a subscriber when you were on wordpress. Happy I found ya, again. :) I like your blog design!

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  2. Amen! I can completely relate to that post! You little one is a sweetie!

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  3. love these moments. they really are treasures!! :)

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  4. It just CANNOT get better than that :)

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  5. AMEN! I love this sweet sweet reminder. He is a doll and you're so right, it's very hard but so very worth it!

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  6. Such a beautiful moment for you! (Your hair looks gorgeous too!). These are "worth it" moments. I need to remember that!

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  7. this is so sweet! I know Im not a mamma but I feel like I will forget to take in these precious moments as a future mamma.. but I do need to do remember these little things everyday. thanks for the reminder :)

    http://openspaceskendra.blogspot.com

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