Being married to someone like him, along with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, often has me wondering, "what if?" What if the gifts, passions, and skills that God has given me could affect change in people's lives? What if I got to be a part of something bigger than myself? What if, in some way, I could change the world?
I have some pretty lofty ideas for my life. How God should use me and what I should accomplish. I want to impact a huge number of people because, the bigger the better, right? Well, maybe not always.
And it's been the Lord asking me:
What if you start with one?
What if you start with Nicholas?
What if your dreams, which are from Me and are good, begin with you being a faithful wife, a servant-hearted mother, and a loyal friend? What if they don't start with you speaking to a crowd of people and writing a book? What if they start with one person? What if they start with my son?
I gotta be honest guys, I don't totally like the sound of that. That idea doesn't come with much glory, and it involves a lot of humility. Which isn't my greatest gift. But it sounds a lot like Jesus. It sounds a lot like someone who waited 30 years to start His ministry, even though He could have showed everyone what was up from day one. It sounds like someone who waited on God's timing, who was faithful in the small things, and allowed God to use Him for His purposes. Jesus doesn't need me to prove how committed I am to Him through my million hours of service; He wants my simple obedience, in every day life.
I don't know how God will use me. I don't know if my entire "ministry" will be to my kids and their friends and their classmates, or if it will be to an entire nation. (Highly doubt that last one :) ) But I know that I want to follow Jesus, serve where and when He asks, and be faithful in the small things. I'm still going to keep dreaming. And hopefully, through the small stuff, He'll use me to show some people His love and grace.
He's given me my husband. He's given me Nicholas. And he's given me a few friends. So, I'm going to start there. Lord, help me to be faithful.
Linking up with Casey's "On Your Heart" Link-Up