Friday, August 31, 2012

What If We Start With One?

I am married to a dreamer. Someone who's favorite question to ask is, "if resources were unlimited and you could do anything you wanted with your life, what would you do?"Someone who passionately rattles off ideas, believing that they really could change the world. It's inspiring. It makes me want to dream big too. And even though my husband playfully calls me The Dream Killer because I like to shoot down his plans with my over-realistic arrows, his dreaming has rubbed off on me.

Being married to someone like him, along with the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, often has me wondering, "what if?" What if the gifts, passions, and skills that God has given me could affect change in people's lives? What if I got to be a part of something bigger than myself? What if, in some way, I could change the world?

I have some pretty lofty ideas for my life. How God should use me and what I should accomplish. I want to impact a huge number of people because, the bigger the better, right? Well, maybe not always.

Lately, as I've been dreaming, I've felt the Lord tugging at my heart. You know that little niggling in the back of your mind that wants you to quiet down for a second so that you can listen (even though you want to shut it out because you think your ideas are better)? I've felt that.

And it's been the Lord asking me:

What if you start with one?

What if you start with Nicholas?

What if your dreams, which are from Me and are good, begin with you being a faithful wife, a servant-hearted mother, and a loyal friend? What if they don't start with you speaking to a crowd of people and writing a book? What if they start with one person? What if they start with my son?

I gotta be honest guys, I don't totally like the sound of that. That idea doesn't come with much glory, and it involves a lot of humility. Which isn't my greatest gift. But it sounds a lot like Jesus. It sounds a lot like someone who waited 30 years to start His ministry, even though He could have showed everyone what was up from day one. It sounds like someone who waited on God's timing, who was faithful in the small things, and allowed God to use Him for His purposes. Jesus doesn't need me to prove how committed I am to Him through my million hours of service; He wants my simple obedience, in every day life.

I don't know how God will use me. I don't know if my entire "ministry" will be to my kids and their friends and their classmates, or if it will be to an entire nation. (Highly doubt that last one :) ) But I know that I want to follow Jesus, serve where and when He asks, and be faithful in the small things. I'm still going to keep dreaming. And hopefully, through the small stuff, He'll use me to show some people His love and grace.

He's given me my husband. He's given me Nicholas. And he's given me a few friends. So, I'm going to start there. Lord, help me to be faithful.

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Linking up with Casey's "On Your Heart" Link-Up


  1. Loved this post. I feel a lot of the same...I wish my mark on the world could be bigger. I have to start with what He's given me right now.

  2. Thanks for making me cry! :) I REALLY needed to read this today! Beautiful post!

  3. Love this! God needs to use His people in all different sorts of ways. You are awesome :) And I forgot to say, I love the new design!

  4. I just found your blog and I had to comment; so much of what you just said is resonating in my heart, too! I'm definitely a dreamer; and I definitely feel a lump in my throat right now when I think the only influence I'll have for His kingdom is my own family! I struggle with feeling that that desire is selfish, and I struggle with our mandate to "reach the nations" and how I fulfilling that if I'm "only" focused on raising my children...but you are so right--obedience, right here and right now, is all I need to worry about! NOT always easy but ALWAYS so much better! Have a great weekend :)


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