Wednesday, August 22, 2012

My Journey to Trust: Take Heart

A week ago I shared with you that I'm on a journey of learning to trust the Lord. I'm a natural worrier, but I'm tired of not trusting the Lord. Trusting in yourself and hoping that the odds are in your favor is exhausting. Why not put your trust in the all-knowing, all-loving God? So I'm seeking out ways that I can learn to trust the Lord. This is my journey.

In the last few years, I've watched some close friends go through some pretty painful things. And though God has shown His goodness and faithfulness in all of it, I've struggled with fear. These things caused me to ask, how could something so hard happen to someone who loves God? That could happen to me, and my family!" In my grieving and pain, there were times when I felt alone. I couldn't feel God. It was a really difficult time in my life.

This week I had significant conversations with two girlfriends. One suddenly lost a family member several years ago. The other had a recent health scare, which turned out to be benign (thank goodness.) Both of those scenarios terrify me. And separate of each other, both talked about these circumstances in a way that startled me.

They both said - you don't know how much time you have on this earth, or how much time your loved ones have. We should be grateful for every minute God gives us, and not expect tomorrow.

And because I'm a psycho this created some fear in my heart. I don't like thinking about what could happen to my husband or to my son. To my siblings or parents. To myself. It deeply scares me. And I lied awake thinking about this for about an hour at 4am.

God, could I trust you with something terrible like that? Will you be enough in those moments? What if I'm tempted to walk away from you? What if I feel alone, like I did last time something hard hit? What if you're not enough?

And at 4am, as I laid awake and worried, the Lord popped this scripture into my mind:

In that 4am moment, this verse became peace and life to my soul. And even today, I can't stop thinking about it.

I'm still not done digesting the implications of this verse, and I know that hearing a line of scripture won't make the pain go away in an excruciatingly painful life circumstance. But I do know this:

Jesus doesn't shy away from the fact that there WILL be hardship in this life. That actually gives me comfort. He is all-knowing and doesn't try and sugar coat things. But fully knowing that hardship will come - He assures us that He has overcome the world. And His overcoming will be enough, in those moments.

I felt Him saying to me, That hardship? I have overcome that. Your deepest fear, your broken heart? I am enough for that. I have taken away the sin of the world and have given mankind the greatest hope you could ever have. Trials will come; but don't let your heart be troubled. I am enough, because I have overcome this world.  If you are tempted to walk away from me? I love you more than that. If you can't feel my presence? I am so much more faithful than your feelings.

All death, pain, worry, fear - I have OVERCOME that. I am enough.

This isn't the end of my journey; but this piece of God's Word has given me so much hope. I can't wait to see where else He takes me.

Will you take some time to meditate on this Scripture with me this week? I know I will continue to let this verse ruminate in my heart. And if the Lord speaks something to you, I would LOVE to hear it.

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  1. Dear Mackenzie,
    Thank you for sharing this verse. It has brightened my day and I will meditate on it this week with you. I will also share it with my friends. Thanks again!

  2. I am an intense worrier too! I wrote a post about it in June. I especially like Matthew 6:25-27 where Jesus asks "which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?" So true! I still struggle with worry but I have been working on leaving my cares in His hands. He knows The Plan.

  3. I struggle with these fears too even though I'm only 16.
    But I found that Psalm 91 is a great help! Read it!! :)

  4. I admire this! I hope you can link up with my blog today!
    Wanderlust Wednesdays

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. hi dear!
    we spotted your blog on a coast to coast map! it says you live near us! We're in Sandpoint, ID! :-)

    btw we're hosting a painting giveaway on our blog this week - join if you're interested ;-)

  7. Hey girly!
    I've nominated you on my blog as a Must See Blog With Under 200 Followers! Feel free to check it out and nominate some blogs of YOUR choosing :)


    PS: Your faith is so inspiring!

  8. Hi Mackenzie!

    I love this verse. I even wrote a post about it back in July. and I love what you said "I am so much more faithful than your feelings." The beautiful thing is God is there even when we don't feel him.

  9. I cannot find your short blog post but my question is when did you find out? I too am short like you and they ran tests I saw genetics doctor and all they could find was extra piece of chromosome on a random one not any particular one. They published me in a magazine hoping seek answers and not a word Bach. Nobody had ever seen that before! But I want to know how did you handle driving and birthing a Baby. Haha . But for real!

  10. Have few questions on regards to your short post loved to ask you!

  11. Thank you for sharing your heart in this, friend. I love your reminder to trust Him in the midst of can be so scary but He HAS overcome and in that we can rest.
    Love your heart, girl.


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