Lately I've been thinking about the fact that being a parent means that you're also a teacher.
God has given Nicholas to Brian and I, as a gift. He has been entrusted to us to take care of in the short time that he's a kiddo. One day Nicholas will be grown and will make all of his own choices. But when he's still little enough to fit under my wing, it's my job to instruct him. It's my role to teach him how to be a God-serving, people-loving man. Kind of strikes the fear of God into my heart. By kind of, I mean it completely strikes the fear of God into my heart.
We have the opportunity to teach our kids almost everything. How to eat, how to go to the bathroom, how to say thank you. How to respond when you're upset, how to ride a bike, how to problem solve. And along with all the good stuff I can teach my kids, I'll probably teach them some bad things too...like how to have a short temper. Or what a bad attitude looks like. Or how to eat massive amounts of ice cream in one sitting. The fact is that my life, and my husband's life, will be constantly monitored by our kiddos. They will watch us and learn by what we do. And don't do. When I think about the privilege and duty that this is, I am excited and I'm definitely reminded of how much I need Jesus.
I'm so thankful for the grace of God. I'm so grateful that though Brian and I will mess up, God's love covers a multitude of sins. I'm so happy that God loves my son intensely more than I ever could (though that's hard to imagine, since I love him so stinkin' much!). And I'm praying, daily, that Nicholas will choose Jesus as his Lord and Savior. Jesus is the best Father, the perfect model, and the most loving friend. If Nicholas can follow His example, I'll have one amazing son.
In the short amount of time that Nicholas will live under my roof, I pray that he'll see Jesus in Brian and I. And that I'll be really good at saying "I'm sorry." And that one day, I can thank God for shaping his life as I feebly attempted to teach him. Lord, help me.