Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Tutorial Ideas for Moms & Short People

At one point in my life, I was convinced that I could be DIY-er. I thought I had some pretty good tricks up my sleeve, and in my mind I planned out little tutorials that I could share with people. So far I've made 2 appliqued onesies (iron-ons, anyone?), painted some picture frames, and have some fabric that I've been planning on making into a curtain for a looooooong time. I don't actually remember where that fabric is....

The truth is that during each of those projects, I struggled through the simplest of details. So I've come to grips with the fact that I just might not be a crafty gal. I do, however, have a few mommy and short-person "skills" that might come in handy someday, so I thought I'd share a few tutorial ideas that I have brewing:

For Moms:

1. How to get baby poop out of virtually anything (clothing, carpets, hair...)

2. How to look as ridiculous as possible as you hoist your child's car-seat into the backseat of your car. I envision this tutorial as a series, with subsequent lessons on how grunting enhances one's lifting abilities.

3. How to get your husband to buy you an entirely new wardrobe. The only steps for this one would be "grow a human in your belly and then try and stuff that same post-baby belly back into your pre-pregnancy clothes." And voila, new wardrobe!

4. How to eat as fast as possible without burning your mouth because your child woke up screaming as soon as you pulled dinner out of the oven.

For short people:

1. How to convince someone that you're actually not a pre-teen.

2. A step-by-step guide of how to clean the hard to reach places in your house. This would include an extensive list of tried-and-proven step stools and a guide for how to climb on top of kitchen counters without killing yourself.

3. How to let go of the delusion that wearing high-heels can truly enhance your height. An extra two inches only takes me to 4'10", so I'm not really fooling anyone.

4. How to navigate the kid's section without purchasing anything with glitter, butterflies, or "OMG" stamped somewhere on the clothing.

I hope you enjoyed my tutorial ideas! Maybe I actually do have some ideas to offer people...

8 comments:

  1. Too cute! You have such a wonderful outlook on life!

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  2. hahaha you are hysterical girl! I am with you on the pre teen thing...just bc I am 5 feet tall doesn't make me 10 years old!

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  3. I also shop in the children's section of most stores (I'm 5'4, but have a very small frame). It is a definite talent to shop in that section and find something that can look like it came from the ladies department. I love your idea and your sense of humor.
    May God bless you and your very cute family!

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  4. Hahaha! You are hilarious! I would love to see these tutorials/tips, though neither wold apply to me!

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  5. how do you exactly convince people you aren't a preteen...teach me your ways!
    love this post. and love your encouraging email the other day!

    ps. how exactly do our babies know when we are about to eat a meal...because mine loves to start fussing just as go to put food in month.

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  6. That's hysterical! I'm currenty working on Mom tip #3...

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