Thursday, June 7, 2012

If I Just...


Do you ever have those moments where you look at yourself and your inability to stop sinning and think, "If I just...." If I just read my Bible more. If I just thought before I spoke. If I just listened to John Piper's sermon series more often. If I was just more gentle. If I could just change.

I see how easily snap at my husband, or how I don't read my Bible enough, or the fact that I care WAY too much about what people think of me. I see my sin and all the ways that I am falling short of righteousness, and I think, "If I just..." I get so consumed with all that I should be doing and all that I am unable to do. Before long I am a teary, anxiety-ridden mess. I've come up with a 5-step plan of how I can improve as a person, as a wife, a mother, a friend. With a heavy heart I think "yeah, I'll start that Bible study tomorrow. And then I'll pray before I get out of bed every morning, and then blah blah blah." And I try and muscle out the strength to grow and become more like Jesus. I. I. I.


And then, the gentle, voice of Jesus whispers in my ear. He quiets my heart and stops the spinning in my head. He reminds me that HE has begun a good work in me and that HE will carry it to completion.* My heartbeat slows down and the anxiety begins to wane. Jesus reminds me that the grace He has for me is truly never-ending. It's not just enough grace to gain salvation; it's also more than enough grace to make us more like Him. He whispers that when I try to do it all on my own, my focus can only be on me. And that will get me nowhere. But when I come to Jesus, acknowledging that I can do nothing without Him, He supplies me with the faith, the strength, and the courage to become more like Him. His kindness and faithfulness give me the desire to love my husband. His holiness and His love motivate me to spend time reading the Bible. His delight in being my Father gives me the perspective that I am loved and accepted as I am.


I. I. I. I sit at His feet, with all my mess, and whisper the words, You. You. You. If I just...get on my knees and let Jesus do the work in me. Let the reality of His outrageous love and grace sink in. Now I can breathe. Now I can be ok with my own short-comings. Now I can love. Because of Him. Him. Him.

*Paraphrased from Philippians 1:3-6.

12 comments:

  1. Amen, amen, AMEN! This is so true and such a good reminder! I struggle with this all the time. Thanks for shaky this awesome reminder aims encouragement.
    Alesha <3

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  2. Mackenzie!! I totally love this and you spoke from my heart and to my heart, cause just this troubled me in the past few days!! god bless you, his peace!!!

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  3. Such an encouraging post! One of the hardest parts of walking with Christ for me is trusting Him to do the work and live in grace instead of trusting myself to change, grow, and learn. When I choose grace, I see growth and goodness (I see evidence of Him!) When I choose me, I either feel guilt or pride for what I'm doing or not doing! Thanks for sharing these life-giving words :)

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  4. wow!!!!! i was feeling exactly like this for the past few months! thanks for sharing your heart, God bless you and your beautiful family. <3

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  5. Love this! Thanks for sharing your heart and encouraging all of us : )

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  6. Love it! What a good reminder for us all...

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  7. So good! Our only job is to remain in Him and in His love and He mercifully does everything else! PS. You are radiant and that baby of yours is painfully adorable.

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  8. Him. Him. Him! I love that! Less of me and more of Jesus.

    His grace is enough. He is enough.

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  9. [...] Mackenzie from Life of the Pint-Sized Mama –”If I just…..“  who hasn’t said/thought those little condemning words to [...]

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  10. also I know that I meant your... my fingers just didnt...

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  11. love this post. love you're writing. and love youuuuuu

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  12. Good words. So easy to look at ourselves and think, "If I just..." I know I do it often!

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